Tag: binary

That’s my existential work in this world.
And I’m settling into the idea.

Desperate people – a type of person
People in desperate situations – pushed to our limits
Desperate to [blank] – any desire, a verb
Extreme lack – empty, needy
In Need – a state of being
Expiring – next to gone

These are my definitions.
And here’s my phone’s definition:

What do I need desperately?
– sustenance [shelter, food/drink, safety, education]
– connection [belonging, acceptance, shared experience, support]
– purpose [work, motivation, goals, aspirations]
– agency [resources where & when needed to make choices]

Universalish, don’t you think? And generic AF…
It’s very much a “you decide” kind of thing – lots of options.

I’ve surmised in my 41 years that the most tragic and embarrassing behaviors often accompany desperation. Whether we meet it as a feeling, a means to an end action, or a profound sense of twisted motivation to meet a need, it is a formidable force.

Unnecessary, unforeseen, and unseemly things will take place and by your hand. Things that you’d never even imagined before become, at least for a time, a past-time of yours! It’s troubling, yes. You can ignore the unease of it and avoid considering it for a while, but it gets louder or too obvious and you need a better strategy – the time has come to rationalize it (lie to yourself).
You need some structure for this ultimately destructive and mis-aligned behavior in order to keep doing it (and carrying on). Think up a story that allows you to be a lowly pawn in someone else’s game, a blamey woe is me trope about mainly ceding all your sense of free will authority in order to morally approve your ick behavior choices. “What else am I going to do?!”

The fear and suffering-soaked actions are out of alignment with that divine spark within us to such a degree that the dissonance ripples out into all sorts of harm – systemic ruptures and splinters to contain damage and restabilize. Explosions, contusions! Picture a lone bubble on the top of the water, calmly bursting. Pop.

“I can handle it,” says the body. “Move on” says the mind. (I can’t let the fact that this next thing I write reminds me of my PopPop for some reason, so here goes.) The heart holds on and holds out hope. The soul buckles up and endures.

Maybe you wouldn’t label your life’s distresses in such intense terminology at all, and the word desperate doesn’t track for you. I didn’t relate to it either.
I wasn’t aware of my own desperation at the time. The words I’d use… prolonged frustration, dissatisfaction, unfulfilled longing is more my verbiage. An ongoing, drolling repetition of, “Something just is NOT adding up.” I definitely was not aware of the condition, of its influence, or the risk its presence presented in my life. I want you to know firsthand.

That’s my why – desperation prevention.

We’ve seen it in all the movies and heard it come out of every adult’s mouth – “You made me do this. You drove me to this! This isn’t ME.” We be our own “yass man” for a hot minute and feel sorry for ourself enough to go along with this meh story we’ve spun. And it’s gon’ get worse before it get any better, friend.

It’s my understanding that God created us as one part of a great big world called Earth, where our kind (hu-mans) are in an ideal situation as far as lifeforms go. Bro! Trees breathe out what we breathe in! We’ve got opposable thumbs, big brains, and we build culture to customize our environments. We create beautifully varied and vibrant ways of life. That pretty much sums it up.

It sounds like the opposite of desperate.
Here’s my phone’s quick list of antonyms for desperate:

If I’m in the desperation prevention business, then I’m looking to somehow increase the experiences that produce the antithesis of despair, so words (above) like unworried, secure, satisfied, satisfactory, hopeful, and content.

The more of this, the less of the opposite, right? Isn’t that a universal law?
Did a quick search on the so-called Universal Laws and here’s a good list.
I have a growing suspicion that humans can convert one into the other, so fully transform the intense pain and violence of desperation into feelings and situations of contentment, ease, and satisfaction. This is an area I’d love to see researched because I can only tell you anecdotally through my own lens of my lived experience. It’s so simple and quick, but it’s a discreet formula and most peoples aren’t really interested.

In my estimation, this power to transform states of being in life forms from plant, animal, and human is magic! It’s modern evolution, and it’s happening “all the time” as we’re witnessing it and becoming it, really all at once, on so many levels. If our power to manifest our soul’s beautiful expression in the world (rippling out the satisfaction) is directly correlated with the health of our system to process thoughts and emotions into actions chosen in the present moment, then that’s the task at hand. They say the only requirement is choosing to allow for the possibility of change, of other.
Of new.

Something I know about “new” is that it’s only ever a viable option for me once I’m out of the woods, so to speak. Or once the smoke has cleared and we’ve gotten our legs back under us. Once my system feels safe enough to relax. Until then, I’m hiding out. New is hope incarnate, and that’s a word on our antonyms of desperation list. Hmm. So my basic requirements have to be getting met, at least to some degree, for my system to allow for “new.”

An oddly wise thing I heard myself say in convo with my Mom earlier today went something like, “What if what you’re calling “evil” isn’t out there trying to get you, but coming from us in the ways we have acted from insecurity? What if what we all know and love to call EVIL is our simply our harvest of the natural outgrowth of unmet needs on every level, internal and inter-personal to global?” She is a generous listener who is accustomed to my wise and goofy musings as a defrag tool. For anyone who find audio processing helfpul, you understand. I could totally talk to a recorder or myself or an imaginary friend, of course…but usually I don’t?

We’ve already agreed that our basic requirements are: generic, universal, and easily met in our human setup. (And yep-some setups are sweeter than others.) We know that inspired action ripples out indefinitely. We know that starting small is the somewhere in “You gotta start somewhere.”

Another way to tell the story is that humans have been learning, exploring, and practicing life on Earth for a while now. In the most recent 2,135 years or so, we humans have been buffing up our leadership skills – resource management and medicine, astronomy and advanced tool-making. We have spread our lifeways all over the planet and have learned and developed all the while. Vast networks of species interdependence exist now in partnership – trees and mycelium, for example. And humans with plants and animals, co-existing and co-creating new landscapes. Human development isn’t just physical or mental because, as a species, we are evolving and upgrading our whole beings, including the deeper subconscious “hard-wiring” and the cellular composition. Like crucial ios updates. And what ideas we bring forth into use toward our dreams will determine our lives and impact those around us and beyond. So bring forth Peace, Joy, and Restoration.

Although it might take a while longer than we’d prefer, we can use what we know to affect change that ripples into humanity’s long historical arc, if not its very identity. LOL I have such strong conviction that humans have a unique opportunity right now today, to tend and care for this planet and all her inhabitants in a way that spreads hope and cultivates abundance.

We begin by using what we already know and what we already have available to transform the despair in all the forms in which we encounter it.
We start with ourselves, thn to those closest to us, and finally to everyone we encounter along the road.

How do we do this? Allow yourself to consider the possibility that something OTHER than your past experiences is possible. And as you consider this possibility, notice how you feel. If any ideas come to your mind, take a little action – just a lil baby step. And if no ideas come, just wait and stay open to receive.

That feels aligned to me. Satisfactory!

The photo at the top was taken by a guy named who published it in an online article about Oscar Wilde’s beautiful line, “A flower blossoms for its own joy.”
This line is from a play called The Decay of Lying. It was my favorite image for the post and I was delighted to get a little extra commentary on the quote, one of my favorites right now.